Wednesday, March 28, 2012

The Host: Not another Twilight

I really hate Hollywood at the moment. Here I am, a writer with a whole wheelbarrow full of unique and original story ideas, and film makers go and make a movie out of Stephanie Meyer's other book. Yep, that's right. The Host is getting it's own movie. Sad thing is I am still going to go see it.




Well there it is. If you haven't read the book, which I can only assume would be anyone who isn't female and around the ages of 14 - 17, you aren't missing that much. I read it a few years ago when I was bored and it was raining out. In comparison to her vampire books, this one wasn't too bad. The novel is set in Earth's future after our planet has been invaded by peaceful parasitic creatures that take control of our bodies. They see this as "improving" our civilisation (and from some of the technology they have, I wouldn't completely disagree) and are constantly seeking any humans left without a little alien buddy.

Now the storyline is actually pretty good, it's got a good theme and a plausible synopsis, if a little simple. However, I can forgive the fact there isn't a lot of advanced super scientific alien technology in this book because it's written more as a teen fiction genre. What I CANNOT FORGIVE is that the self proclaimed Queen of Romance has turned this into another love triangle story. But this time, the girl goes from having no personality (Bella) to having two personalities (well technically two sentient beings) who are in love with different men. 

It's all about loving what's on the inside! Because what's inside of the main character's body is essentially a silver jellyfish type alien thing grasping your brain and spreading it's dainty little tentacles through your body. Sexy right? Nope. Hentai does better with tentacle romance. Although I was happy to see that the female protagonists weren't just empty shells like Bella Swan was in Twilight. If I had to choose between an alien parasitic jellyfish and Kristen Stewart I think I'd go for the jelly fish.

Wait, what was the point I was trying to make? Oh yeah, I was trying to say this film, like the novel, may turn out better than the Vampire/Fairy phenomenon that happened last time. However, if I start hearing any mention of Team Jared and Team Ian, I'm going to set something on fire. It's either going to be the book or an orphanage, but since I don't know of any orphanages around it'll probably have to be the book.

I think I'm just mad at film-makers and movie writers alike who instead of searching for new talent or using GOOD material, they just pick up the latest craze and find the hottest actors they can to play the roll. They probably don't even care if the film is good, they just want money. My stories have witty characters, psychological dilemmas, sexual tension and amusing chemistry between characters. Stephanie Meyer has love triangles and peaceful versions of things that should actually be terrifying. The only great skill she has is turning any subject she can find into a romance love triangle story. What will she do next?! A sofa in love with a fridge and a stove? A flower desperately pining for a magical tree? Teenage sea-monsters who need to find a mate? Points for creative point of view, but eventually people are going to catch on and realise it's just the same characters over and over.

In other less-angry news, Season Two of Game of Thrones starts soon. I'm so excited I could behead someone with a sword!


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