Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Take A Chance

I didn't think I would be writing about love so god damn early in this blog, but screw it, I'm having a moment of passionate enthusiasm.

For me personally, I find the relationships between humans fascinating and completely irrational, due to my being a bizarre combination of logic and human instinct that clash together all the god damn time. I find the small things couples get upset about hilarious, but then find myself getting upset over them too. I think a good word to describe that is: hypocrite.

I will definitely bitch about things like this in the future because I am an opinionated person who rarely takes requests like "Shut the f**k up" seriously, but I've just noticed recently that people are becoming more and more reluctant to take a chance. Whether it be because social networking has made stalking easier, or just because there has been a major decline in confidence, I don't see why nobody simply goes for it any more?

Example: You find someone attractive.

What you want: To interact with this person on a regular basis and see if they have the same feelings.

What you do: Admire them from afar, stalk them on facebook to find out what they like, hope they make the first move.

What they do: Nothing. Because they don't know you exist (and no amount of jedi mind tricks will make them).

What you should do: TALK TO THEM!

  • Worst Case Scenario: They are so repulsed that you are in their very presence that they run screaming in the opposite direction. (Usually this means No and you probably shouldn't pursue them.)

  • Bad Case Scenario: They have no interest in talking to/ interacting with you.

  • Slightly Unpleasant Case Scenario: They humour you and are very nice, but eventually decline your offer/advances.

  • Neutral Case Scenario: They say something like "Meh, okay, I wasn't doing anything interesting anyway."

  • Confusing Case Scenario: They use the phrase "So, it comes to this" while staring off into the distance. 

  • Good Case Scenario: They act surprised and nervous but accept your offer to hang out n' shit.

  • Best Case Scenario: They blush immediately and agree enthusiastically to anything and everything that comes out of your pie hole. 

Honestly, the worst thing that could happen to you is you get slightly embarrassed. And there is a good way to avoid this: humour. You can play it off as a joke, pretend you have been wounded fatally by their rejection, or just sigh and say "Rejection No. 3'995, almost at the 4'000 mark!"

This way you won't spend any more time fantasising impossible scenarios in your mind where you walk into the coffee shop and show off your mad cat juggling skills in front of them, they become so infatuated they must immediately get out their pan flute and start blowing a mad tune in time with the meows. You know you do it. Everyone does it (fantasising, not cat juggling, but that would be cool).

For f**k sake just give it a go! This guy did:

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