Monday, May 21, 2012

Choosing A Hobby




If you haven't read my post about Unemployment, go read it now, because this is basically a lead on from that. No I haven't gotten a job, and no this is not university/writing related.

I am having serious trouble trying to decide what to do while I have all this free time. Had I known I would be unemployed for this long, I would have put a sh*t load of effort into a hobby. Learnt an instrument. Gotten fit. Built a lazer gun that could incinerate my enemies within 4.67 seconds.

But no. What have I done? Read my weight in books and become one with the internet. Oh internet, you own my soul. You own all of our souls. And you all know it's true, because if we were without an internet connection for one single day, the world would be reduced to screaming fanatics shouting 'THE END IS NIGH! THE END IS NIGH!". I know this because I would be one of them.

So to remedy this, I need to decide on a hobby.

I sort of, kind of, used to do ballet a little while ago, and shameful as it is to admit I was actually quite marvellous at the foofy sport. I do not want to go back to it. I am not a ballerina. I am not dainty and graceful. I am unpredictability on legs made for kicking.

So here are my choices for things that I want to do that might be helpful in the long run:


MARTIAL ARTS



Kicking the crap out of someone is something we will all have to do at some point in our lives, literally or using our imaginations. This is why I am considering learning a proper martial art style like Krav Maga or Kick Boxing. It will also be hilarious when I eventually get cornered by a pack of skinhead goons who think because I look like a 10 year old blonde girl that I won't put up a fight.

The streets shall run red with their blood. In a nice way. . .

(There is also the benefit of hanging around very athletic, fit, and potentially single people you can partner up and touch. Bonus.)



DANCING


Swayze you gorgeous lover-boy you

It's kind of like martial arts, except more girls do it, and there are more injuries caused by face-to-the-floor. As previously mentioned I did have an aptitude for the pranciness until I could no longer fund the pranciness, so I had to prance around at home. That led to a lot of head wounds.

Similar to martial arts, there are a wide variety of dance styles, so I don't have to pick the most feminine and not-me style. Hip-hop, jazz, pilates, ZUMBA, urban, tap, boxercise, etcetera etcetera! Personally I like the idea of Boxercise the best because it combines exercise and punching people in the face. And we all know how much fun that is!



WEAPONRY




Lazers would be cooler, but I'm sure the ability to maintain and use a working gun, bow or cat-launcher would come in handy some zombie-ridden day.



KNITTING


No.


PAINTING


http://agnes-cecile.deviantart.com/

Once upon a time I could paint. I still can actually, but nothing like the beauty that is above. Also, I don't have a space in my house I'm willing to make look like a leprechaun vomited a rainbow everywhere. It also costs money for materials and once I've finsihed my terrible masterpieces, they would just end up sitting under my bed or in a corner because no coffee house would want to put them up because they look too mainstream.

Good god, hipsters are ruining my dreams.



WRITING


http://shanonaut.deviantart.com/

When I said I haven't been doing much for the last few weeks, I wasn't entirely truthful. I have been doing a hell of a lot of writing. I've come up with countless stories, numerous characters, elaborate plots, but have yet to finish one.

I WILL DO IT! I don't really have much motivation to do it as all my passion comes from inspiration and I'm lacking it at the moment. The only reason I keep writing regularly is because of this blog. Which, as of right now, gets VERY LITTLE ATTENTION. But that could be my fault. I'm not really writing about anything specific and it's very ambiguous and I am a little insane and hard to understand. 
Also I tend to write very big run on sentences that go for almost half a paragraph long. My bad.


*


I will choose a hobby. I will. And it will be a good one. It will most likely be related to zombies and punching people in the face; or better yet punching zombies in the face.

Never waste time. It's too damn precious. Be productive. And get OFF the internet. Right now. Stop reading this and get off the internet. Read a book. Go outside. Bake a f*cking cake, I don't care, just do something better than staring at a computer screen.

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