Saturday, June 23, 2012

ICWM #4 - Boredom

Post-Semester Depression Syndrome: Feeling completely lost after finishing a heavy work-load and not knowing what to do with your life.

Brain:  We've seen this episode of 30 Rock already. Put something else on.

Me:  I don't have anything new to watch.

Brain:  Aaaaaaaaaaah, you suuuuuuuuuuuck.

Me:  Oh come on, what's the problem? We're on holidays, we can do anything we want, but every time I come up with something to do, you think it's stupid.

Brain:  Because it IS stupid. Can we go see a movie or something? Or like, a bike ride? We know how to do that right? I distinctly remember being able to do that. 

Me:  You don't want to do that.

Brain:  And why not?

Me:  We haven't ridden a bicycle in over 8 years. Also we get tired going up a flight of stairs. If we were to ride a bike I'm pretty sure we would die. I'm getting a stitch just thinking about it.


Me:  Do you want to?

Brain:  Not any more . . . 

Me:  I hate you so much. Are you sure this isn't a problem with Attention Span?

Brain:  No, he's been asleep ever since we finished university two weeks ago.

Me:  So it's entirely your fault we have had no motivation to do anything productive or interesting besides watch TV shows?

Brain:  . . . I walked into that one, didn't I? 

Me:  Come on, can't you just come up with something you would actually like to do?

Brain:  Penguin football.

Me:  What. The F**k. Is that?

Brain:  Well it's like normal football, but instead of a ball, you use a penguin.

Me:  . . .

Brain:  And there aren't any goals or anything, it's really just who can kick it the farthest.

Me:  . . .

Brain:  Oh and there aren't any teams either, so technically there is only one winner.

Me:  . . .

Brain:  And the great thing is, you can play it all by yourself! Isn't that cool?

Me:  . . .

Brain:  So where can we get a penguin from?

Me: You want a penguin?

Brain:  Yes.

Me:  So you can kick it?

Brain:  Yes.

Me: And this acheives what exactly?

Brain:  A new sport for the Olympics if all goes well. You'd totally watch it! Everyone would!

Me:   . . . Yeah, okay I would definitely watch that. It's totally unethical and PETA would kick the shit out of you for it-

Brain:  We're the same person. 

Me: -but I would still watch that.

Brain:  Exactly. Now hurry up and go find us a penguin.

Me:  Nope. Gonna read a book instead.

Brain: WHAAAAAAAAAA?! But I just put all this thought into this cool new sport! Get me a penguin, slave!

Me: Do you even hear yourself?

Brain:  Of course not. I'm a brain, not a set of ears. I just do the thinking and see how s**t turns out. Now are you going to get me a penguin, or am I going to have to start humming the Star Trek theme?

Me:  Why would you do that?

Brain:   Because it irritates you. And because I want to.

Me: . . . Fine. I'll go check eBay.


For the love of god somebody stop me before things get illegal.

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