Apologies for not doing much lately, I have been busy completing assignments for uni. Posts may be less frequent and less succinct due to my brain being a little mushier than usual.
So here is a conversation I had with it a little while ago after a completely random sex dream.
Me: What the hell was that?
Brain: A dream. You've had them before.
Me: I know it was a dream, but why the hell was it a sex dream about that guy?
Brain: Well I thought it would be fun to dream about him considering you haven't thought much about him in a while.
Me: At least a year.
Brain: Yeah, so I just thought you'd like a nice sexy dream about him and some llamas.
Me: Llamas? There weren't any llamas.
Brain: There weren't? Hmm . . . could have sworn I put some llamas in there.
Me: You can't even remember the dream any more, can you?
Brain: No. No I cannot.
Me: Seriously dude, that happens way too much. I can't even remember what it was about either, all I know is it involved that guy and sex. Weird sex.
Brain: Llama sex?
Me: No. Not llama sex.
Brain: Hmm . . . oh well, maybe next time.
Me: I don't want llama sex in my dream! Stop giving me weird sex dreams about people!
Brain: But your libido wanted it! You've been seriously lacking in the sexy-times lately!
Me: Libido! Dafuq dude?!
Libido: Woah, woah, woah, keep me out of this. I'm just telling your brain what you already know.
Brain: So I thought I would be nice and give you some nice REM action. Bow chicka wow, wow.
Me: I hate you. Now I can't stop thinking about him.
Brain: Who? Libido?
Me: No, not Libido, the guy in the dream.
Brain: Well you haven't been fantasising about much lately and I needed the exercise. Oh! Oh! How about I imagine you two getting married and having kids?! That'd be fun!
Me: NO! That's creepy! Stop putting him in my head, it's messing with my daily life.
Brain: Oh come one, it's not that distracting.
Me: You're wondering what he looks like naked right now, aren't you?
Brain: Yes. Yes I am.
Libido: My bad.
Me: I f**king hate both of you.
Brain: Oh come one, you love it.
Me: . . . okay, yeah. It's not too bad. But can you not do it while I'm trying to write this assignment? Please?
Brain: Aren't you writing a fictional story right now?
Me: Yeah. For my class.
Libido: OH! OOOOH! MAKE IT A SEXY STORY! RIP HIS CLOTHES OFF WITH YOUR TEETH!
Brain: Everybody loves a sexy story.
Me: No they don't.
Brain: Then why is 50 Shades of Grey so popular?
Me: Oh god, don't remind me.
Brain: Then how about another sex dream?
Me: . . . alright fine. As long as there are no llamas.
Brain: Yeah . . . I can't promise that.
Me: I hate you so much.
Libido: Set it in space! Space sex is the kinkiest!
Me: . . . *sigh*