Thursday, June 14, 2012

Phrases I'm Sick of Hearing



I don't know what it is about certain words and phrases, but some members of the vocabulary world just stick so far into a person's brain, it's impossible for them to comprehend any other alternative.

It occurs mostly in films or television shows when they just want to summarise an entire series worth of sexual tension into one sentence/confession. However, there are certain people around who use words without really knowing their meaning.

Let me explain:

Basically

This word is supposed to summarise a large amount of speech into an easily understandable portion. It is NOT meant to be used 50 f**king times in a presentation by an amateur because they get nervous after reading what's on their cards and decide they can come up with something better after saying the exact some thing. If you have the opportunity to say something in a more succinct and understandable way, then say it that way.


LOL (and other abbreviations)

This is an abbreviation of 'Lots of laughs'. It began because people couldn't be bothered to type out the whole thing on their phones; back when mobile phones still had buttons. THIS DOES NOT MEAN you should say it. Your speech does not have a character limit. Better yet, why not just laugh? Give the person who made you LOL these promised laughs. Similarly, you can say Oh my god, instead of OMG. You don't need to abbreviate words. Seriously. Srsly.


We've got to-

Oh man, the amount of times I've heard these words in movies and TV shows is just amazing. It's like movie producers think the audience don't know those people need to escape the burning building. "We've got to find a way out!". Really? Do you really? I thought you had to host a tea party and knit some mittens. Had you not pointed out your need to escape your impending fiery death I would never have f**king guessed.


I can't believe-

See above.


All I know is-

If you have ever watched That 70's Show, you will understand why I want to punch Eric in the face.I don't give a sh**t if it's his catchphrase, you can't just say it when you can't be bothered summarising your feelings. It turns 'I love you' into 'Look, all I know is that I have watched you ever since we were little, and as each day went by my heart bled for you. I wanted you. I don't know why but I just can't be away from you. You mean so much to me I would kick a kitten through a window for you'. You get me?


I could care less

That is not the say. The correct saying is 'I COULDN'T care less'. Saying you could care less means that you actually care about the thing you really don't give a shit about. I can feel the tumour stupid people give me growing whenever someone uses this phrase wrong.
If you don't believe me, here is David Mitchell explaining the difference.

*

This might just be me being pedantic, but more than likely it's not. You'd think script writers would be able to come up with something a little more original than 'I can't believe Angela is really a man!' Why not go for something original or witty? Like 'Do we call you Angelo now?' or 'Oh wow, I'm going to have to re-evaluate my sexuality'. Mix it up a bit.


If you want more examples, or want to see first hand how clich├ęs are just everywhere, watch these great compilations videos. They will remove all meaning from the words: "It's show time!"

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