Although when I say that, things haven't really changed much at all, I've just got a sense of melancholy. It's like when you are super hungry so you eat a whole lot of unhealthy food; and for a moment you are completely satisfied and content, but then it feels like a kangaroo on steroids has just punched you in the lower intestines and suddenly you don't feel so hot.
That's how I feel. Except less painful.
See, I'm finishing up university for this year in a couple of days, I've started a new job, I have to travel to Sydney for a wedding, I have 9 people to buy Christmas presents for, 3 to buy birthday presents for, I need to figure out what the balls I'm going to do for my birthday and between all that I have to somehow fit in some free time with friends and loved ones, some of which I may have neglected so I could play Skyrim again.
Essentially, life has smacked me in the face. And my brain is not happy with this.
While I've always been the type to take things seriously, I've started to be more realistic and think out the details. Nothing is more depressing than when you compile an annual expense report and realise you buy a lot more s**t than you first thought. Even more so if you are short-sighted like me and have to fork out hundreds of dollars ever year so you don't run people over with your car when driving.
Then what was the point of me playing Grand Theft Auto for all those years?!
I feel like I should be making a To-Do List, but honestly those things never work for me. I cross off one item and think "Awesome, I've made a start and completed something productive, let's go look at funny pictures on the internet for 7 hours as a reward". Seriously Brain, what the f**k? If I want to get something done, my brain has to go into stand-by, like a computer. All the main functions are shut off, but it's still running in the background. I'm doing things, but I don't know why or what they are for. Then I turn back on and suddenly every thing's all don- oh s**t I have to get washing off the line.
Well this has successfully been the most out of the blue and depressing post ever, so here's a video of Robert Webb dancing to "What A Feeling". I'm going to watch Flashdance and pretend I'm an 80's dancer living in Los Angeles. Because I can.