Thursday, December 6, 2012

Brisbane Vs. Sydney: Size Does Matter

I have been absent for a long time because it takes a lot of time to get prepared for a wedding in another city when you've just started a new job and are constantly waiting for new episodes of the Walking Dead to be released. Isn't life difficult?

So while I wait for several episodes of various television shows to finish being plundered I'm also uploading the thousands of touristy photos from all over Sydney and attempting to remember where the s**t I am unpacking is supposed to go.

Firstly, Sydney is bloody huge compared to Brisbane. North Sydney is pretty much Brisbane. And then some. And what makes it even bigger is the fact that the suburbs and buildings have no gaps. It's the London way of living, there's only a thin wall between you and your neighbours so you better hope they are a family of rabbits who like wearing cotton balls on their feet. Although it probably sucks big time when your front door is less than a metre away from the side walk.

The view from my place

 And the attractions! My lord I was there for a week and I couldn't possibly get to see everything. I went to Taronga Zoo and the Opera House and pretty much ate dinner underneath the Harbour Bridge but barely got to experience actually Sydney. A part from one evening where I enjoyed soft tacos and beer in a hipster tavern with a tree in the centre. The waiter looked like he had travel from the 90's to collect our glasses.

Merry Hipstermas
I wish I could love at the Zoo. I know Brisbane has Australia Zoo with all it's awesomeness but I was less than an inch away from a tiger at Taronga Zoo. AZ might put on a good show but there are very few chances to get up close and personal with the largest cat on the planet.

Plus meerkats are awesome.

Sup B**ches?

So for Entertainment, Sydney: 1, Brisbane: 0
For attractions: Sydney: 1, Brisbane: 0
For size: Sydney: 1, Brisbane: 0
For acceptable temperature: Sydney: 1, Brisbane: 0
But for the most important aspect I judge a good city to need -
Liklihood of surviving Zombie Outbreak: Sydney: 0, Brisbane: 1 and alive

I am not kidding, Sydney would be f**ked in a zombie apocalypse. Anyone living in the central, eastern or southern suburbs has no way of heading north because the bridge would be closed, crashed or full of undead, the ferries would no longer be operating and you've got ocean just everywhere. Everywhere.  And if you DO managed to stay alive and start making your way south, the immense populace compressed into one area will make it damn difficult to get out without being eaten.

Brisbane on the other hand, is spacious, has many bridges, and our hardware stores aren't disguised as old reused apartment blocks! You need a chainsaw? Oh that's cool, just head to the giant green building the size of three football fields that says "BUNNINGS WAREHOUSE" in huge red letters. You'll be right. Then we can walk along our spacious streets not crammed with the worst parked cars ever and easily browse for danger in the open distance.

So while Sydney has it's perks, and I will definitely be visiting it again, if not simply for the Zoo, I like Brisbane. We might not have a big night-life scene, or lots of entertainment on every corner. There may not be over 3 million coffee shops or a cultured and refined reputation, but it's home.

It gets hot, it gets boring, our government has no idea what the hell it is doing and the absence of side-by-side housing means more alleyways for drug addicts to shoot up in, but at least we don't have a theme-park sign that looks like it wants to rape me. Just sayin'.


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