Monday, March 31, 2014

Moving Out And Up

Most of my recent posts have been on the fears of growing older and accepting more responsibility into my life while still trying to keep the whimsy and magic which helped sculpt my crazy, crazy, brain into what I am today.

Well this is going to be another one like that; I went to IKEA!

Except for possibly one time I went when I was little, I have been to IKEA a total of 3 times in my adult life. The first was to just peruse the wares as a young couple imagining what living together would be like.
The second was to pick up a filing cabinet which evolved into buying several extra items.
And the third time, which occurred last Thursday, was to buy a butt-load of furniture. Literally a butt-load. Yes it's a real unit of measurement. We had two trolleys and two flat beds worth of crap to haul around at the end of our 4 hour excursion and it took a large amount of frustration, negotiation, and sexual jokes to get through it.

All I thought would happen was a bit of Liz Lemon:


I don't know about anyone else, but the showroom is just designed to make people angry.

Everything is so close together, you can't spend too much time in the same area or people get angry at you, the rooms are separated so when you think you've finally decided on that three-seater couch you go around the corner and BAM! More reasons to argue over colours. Cerise is not a colour.

And you know you can't just pick stuff at random. That's the point of the showrooms, to show you how good your place will never look unless you buy the actual showroom itself and pay $150 for shipping and an addition $100 for assembly. 

Who's home looks like this?! Not mine, that's for sure. Not anybody I know. Tyler Durden had that kind of house. And you know what happened? He blew it up because it was a home full of lies. Lies! And terribly designed coffee tables.

So to avoid a Fight Club incident, I'm going to make sure I have getting internet as a priority, television as a secondary, and maybe if I have time, everything else.

But right now my new place looks like this:


The good news is the boyfriend and I have yet to have a punch up and we now possess enough cardboard to build an entirely new second house. It shall be christened For Kickass and we will spend our days partaking in merriment and frivolity until such a time that it rains and we will have to go home...

You've got to love adulthood.

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