Imaginary Conversation With Myself #2

 Apologies for not doing much lately, I have been busy completing assignments for uni. Posts may be less frequent and less succinct due to my brain being a little mushier than usual.

So here is a conversation I had with it a little while ago after a completely random sex dream.




Me:  What the hell was that? 

Brain: A dream. You've had them before. 

Me:  I know it was a dream, but why the hell was it a sex dream about that guy?  

Brain: Well I thought it would be fun to dream about him considering you haven't thought much about him in a while. 

Me: At least a year. 

Brain: Yeah, so I just thought you'd like a nice sexy dream about him and some llamas. 

Me: Llamas? There weren't any llamas.  

Brain: There weren't? Hmm . . . could have sworn I put some llamas in there. 

Me: You can't even remember the dream any more, can you? 

Brain: No. No I cannot. 

Me:  Seriously dude, that happens way too much. I can't even remember what it was about either, all I know is it involved that guy and sex. Weird sex. 

Brain: Llama sex? 

Me: No. Not llama sex. 

Brain: Hmm . . . oh well, maybe next time. 

Me:  I don't want llama sex in my dream! Stop giving me weird sex dreams about people! 

Brain: But your libido wanted it! You've been seriously lacking in the sexy-times lately! 

Me: Libido! Dafuq dude?! 

Libido: Woah, woah, woah, keep me out of this. I'm just telling your brain what you already know. 

Brain: So I thought I would be nice and give you some nice REM action. Bow chicka wow, wow. 

Me:  I hate you. Now I can't stop thinking about him. 

Brain: Who? Libido?

Me: No, not Libido, the guy in the dream. 

Brain: Well you haven't been fantasising about much lately and I needed the exercise. Oh! Oh! How about I imagine you two getting married and having kids?! That'd be fun!

Me:  NO! That's creepy! Stop putting him in my head, it's messing with my daily life. 

Brain: Oh come one, it's not that distracting.

Me: You're wondering what he looks like naked right now, aren't you?
 
Brain: Yes. Yes I am. 

Libido: My bad.

Me:  I f**king hate both of you.

Brain: Oh come one, you love it.

Me: . . . okay, yeah. It's not too bad. But can you not do it while I'm trying to write this assignment? Please?

Brain: Aren't you writing a fictional story right now?

Me:  Yeah. For my class.

Libido: OH! OOOOH! MAKE IT A SEXY STORY! RIP HIS CLOTHES OFF WITH YOUR TEETH!

Brain: Everybody loves a sexy story.

Me: No they don't.

Brain: Then why is 50 Shades of Grey so popular?

Me:  Oh god, don't remind me.

Brain: Then how about another sex dream?

Me: No.

Brain: Please?

Me:  . . . alright fine. As long as there are no llamas.

Brain: Yeah . . . I can't promise that.

Me: I hate you so much.

Libido: Set it in space! Space sex is the kinkiest!

Me: . . . *sigh*